theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
