Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
