i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
