My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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