Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
