is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You're a waste of cheezeits
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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