you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
