I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
