guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
