ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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