That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
