It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
