my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
