where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
