they need to just BURY HIM!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
