Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
