I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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