I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
