I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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