In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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