I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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