i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
