Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
