My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
