I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
