I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
God gave him joint rollers for hands
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
