I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
