I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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