I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
