I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
