we have officially lost it.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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