doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I have aggressive nipples.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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