I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
