Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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