I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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