how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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