dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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