please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
