Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize
