I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
