Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My feet surprised me
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
