She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
