So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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