i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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