i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She's the barista slut.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
