Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
