Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
