Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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