You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
