her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
