There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
